Meg Casey
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"Most Able Disabled"

Meg Casey's handicapped issues column

Teased while handicapped dating

Meg Casey
January 2, 1984

Hello Meg,

I want you to know how much I enjoy your column. I find myself relating to your words of wisdom quite often. You have a keen sense of what nature is all about and still manage to be able to pull together some good advice out of it for us all to use! I suppose that is why I feel less ill at ease confiding my embarrassing feelings to you this way as opposed to someone else face to face. I know that I can count on the answer and I won't have to hide my red face.

I am disabled also, spinal bifida, and like you haven't had a great deal of success success with the opposite sex. None at all to be bluntly honest, until recent months. I am now in my mid twenties and have just begun to see someone on a fairly regular basis. These have just been casual dates but everyone, especially relatives, make such a big deal out of it. They tease and question me about him until I could almost die of embarrassment. Why do they react that way? It makes me feel so juvenile. Or am I being hypersensitive?

Sincerely, L. G.

Hi L. G.,

I think they make such a big deal about it because it is a big deal! Isn’t it for you?

I do know what you mean though. The teasing that goes on just a bit too long. The constant observation of the two of you together at family functions, and every time you look up someone winks at you exaggeratedly and gives you the OK or thumbs-up sign sign and none to discreetly either. It's all fun and done because they care and happy for you to be going out and having a good time with someone you like so much.

Regardless of age everyone goes through the treatment. It is part of the procedure for dating! Everyone gets into the teasing therefore everyone must go through it in his or her turn. That is part of the rules!

I’ve teased my brothers, nieces and nephews, my friends, and even my widowed aunt about their latest heartthrobs and they've been given it back to me both barrels too so you're not alone.

Just relax and get into it. You not being treated in any abnormal fashion but in very normal and old-fashioned way with affectionate humor. What you don't know is that you're a great aunt Lilly is in the kitchen picking your wedding date! If it bothers you too terribly speak with them about it.


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photographs and other content courtesy of the Casey family unless noted
blog posts and art by Meg Casey
originally published 1982 to 1985 in the Milford Citizen newspaper
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